How A Blind Date Led to Running a Marathon

My husband set me up on a blind date once. Her name was Nicole, and my husband thought I’d like her.

For a running partner.

I was curious about long-distance running after having lost a bunch of weight. I was able to run two to three miles at a time, but even FOUR miles seemed like a daunting goal. I’m a high-school basketball team drop-out, with “big bones.” I don’t exactly have the lean, light body of a typical long-distance runner. Would my body be able to do crazy long distances? And, could my mind push through my mental limitations?

One of my husband’s co-workers, Nicole, was also on her running journey and he thought we would hit it off. Nicole and I first met blindly at Medicine Lake in the Twin Cities. “Just look for the fellow red-head,” my husband advised. We felt instantly at ease – two red heads, curious about running and other shared topics like love of food. Why else do runners run, if not to enjoy the rewards of eating?

We soon became inseparable best friends, our running addiction sandwiched between cooking experiments. Nicole taught me many favorite cooking hacks; my favorite still today is making homemade raviolis using wonton wrappers. I learned how to make cherry snowballs at her annual Christmas cookie baking party, now my all-time favorite holiday cookie (link to recipe here).

On the trails, Nicole taught me the secret to running success. It’s not the expensive tech gear, running speed, nor the subscription to Runner’s World magazine. It’s simply getting your butt out of bed, running shoes on, and body out the door. Then, it’s one foot in front of the other. And when the mind wants to stop? That’s where Nicole’s Tricks come into play.  

Nicole taught me how to break through my mental barriers. That very first blind running date? She “tricked” me into running FIVE miles, which was the furthest I had ever run in my life. My body did it without a notice – she somehow knew the secret barrier was my mind and not my body. Here are a few of her other tricks:

1. Don’t Stop Trick: When I would say, “I need to STOP!” Nicole would typically say, “Let’s just slow our pace.” And it worked.
2. Constraints Trick: “Sure, Kathy we can walk. But when we get to that electric pole up there, we’re going to run.” And it worked.
3. Be Curious Trick: If we got to the top of our mileage for the day, Nicole would be known to say, “There is a really cool bridge up there. How about we just run a little bit further to see it?” And it worked.
4. Challenges are More Fun With a Friend Trick: I guarantee, we ran more and pushed ourselves beyond our limits more together than we would have apart. We were there for each other. There were days Nicole didn’t want to run and days I didn’t want to run. But we both showed up for each other. We both saw each other vulnerable at times and strong at times; usually both at the same time. And this worked.

Nicole and I both trained for and ran our first full marathons in the same year, using Hal Higdon’s 16-week training plan (highly recommend). The plan is tricky like Nicole, sneaking in small bits of longer distances every week. Before you know it, you’ll have the strength to accomplish the 26.2 mile course.

Now that my running days are over and my interests have jogged to other areas, how can I apply these mental tricks to help me get through other mental barriers?

Since running is really one step at a time, the term “Best Next Step” is ringing in my head. I learned it in the business world; I’m not sure of the origins. As a frequent meeting facilitator, when the group is stuck I often ask, “What is our best next step?”

I look at the projects in my life. My Best Next Step may look like:

• Be more vulnerable in my writing
• An extra walk around the block
• Another round of edits on a final draft presentation
• A little less sleep, or a little more
• A little more loving
• More willing to take a risk in [fill in the blank]

In whatever my day brings, I’m going to be listening for any mental barriers. When I hear them, I’ve got a few special tricks to apply as I think about the best next step.

How about you? How will you apply Nicole’s special tricks?

And, remember to bring a friend. You may just be able to help trick each other through it.