“You know, Kathy, a tree’s health depends on losing its leaves. It must let go in order to grow as its designed.”

My friend Amy said this to me, when I was on the ledge of a life chapter change. I was feeling resistance and sadness. Just like that – those words helped me release my final grip, now understanding that my own forward growth is dependent on letting go, just like the tree.

Are you like me, and have ever held onto something so tight that it accidentally became part of you? Perhaps it was that anger response when our kids don’t listen for the tenth time. Perhaps it was that guilt feeling we visit over and over when eating that bowl of ice cream. Was it the invisible lack energy that our eyes are glued to, instead of the tangible abundance we already have?  Or perhaps it was control, a sense that we must hold on tight to a situation, to the point where the lack of breathing takes all oxygen out of the room.

I practiced these lines of code until they had become hard-wired programs in my being. Somehow, it got embedded, on accident, because I didn’t understand the game board we are playing on, The Human Experience. For example:

  • I need to prove myself, to earn friends and respect. The program I was running = Extra efforting is the only way to earn a sense of belonging.
  • I will never have enough. The program I was running = Lack, and that life on Earth will not sustain me.
  • I don’t deserve to dream, nor for them to come true. The program I was running = Unworthiness.
  • Its too late to change; this is just how I am. The program I was running = the combination of any and all programs that pull us out of alignment with the essence of who I Am.

So, how does one let go of these programs, the ones that are now intertwined into our operating system? How do we slowly untangle from the patterns and routines in our days?

I don’t think the answer is writing new code to replace old code. Besides, our systems are overrun with code every single day. Don’t you agree? Code lines such as: Meditate on this, read this poem, go to church, get this book, talk to a therapist, book a vacation, drink this tea, stretch this way, open your chakra, start loving more, watch this video, talk to this expert, light a candle. Eat more vegetables, eat less meat, buy organic. Drink less coffee, talk to Jesus, get more sleep, call a friend, get more sun, read this author. Don’t forget to pray, walk your dog, do more yoga, call in the holy spirit, drink more water, try intermittent fasting. Above all else, laughter is the best medicine.

My system is ready to hit the reset button. You too?

What if the answer is simply Being An Oak Tree? Stay with me on this.

On a walk at Valley Forge National Park earlier this fall, this wise old oak whispered lessons of letting go. © Kathy J. Sotak

There is an abundance of lessons to learn from Mother Earth and her inhabitants:  trees, animals, plants and fungi. These beings simply live the way their DNA is innately wired. They do not stay up late with worry, hold resentment at their neighbor, nor plan years into the future. This old oak tree spoke to me on a walk earlier this fall. I’ve just unpacked the first chapter of its lessons, rich with abundance.

Lessons from Wise Old Oak, on Being An Oak Tree:

  1. A tree’s innate DNA is wired to grow. He doesn’t need to tell its trunk to grow. He doesn’t need to worry about his growth rate compared to others. He doesn’t need to worry if the sun doesn’t shine this week. It just grows.
  2. A tree changes with the natural rhythms of life’s seasons. It doesn’t fight when fall or winter arrives. It doesn’t get tired of growing new leaves when spring arrives. Trees surrender and let go to the seasons of life.
  3. A tree gives back. If you’ve read the classic book, The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein, a tree gives shelter, enjoyment, and fruits to their community:  insects, birds, animals and humans. It carries deep truths within this simple children’s story.
  4. A tree weathers life’s storms. No matter what is going on around the tree: extreme heat, cold, thunder, lightening, rain, drought, or noise – a tree does not run away. A tree adapts, stands tall and breathes.
  5. A tree is independent yet inter-dependent. A tree is its own independent living being, yet through the mycorrhizal network – the tree is connected, communicating and flowing nutrients to benefit the forest.

Finally, Amy’s voice is still ringing in my head. “A tree’s life depends on letting go.” It needs to drop its leaves every season to move into the next season. It doesn’t cling onto something it is supposed to drop.

So, here’s the real lesson of the oak tree, related to letting go: We can make a choice today, to drop any program. Simply recognize that it is not part of our DNA. It was just learned lines of code, that we picked up somewhere. It doesn’t matter where. We don’t need to analyze the past nor dissect the lines of code.  If dropping all of your lines of codes seems daunting, start with letting go of a piece of it.

After we let go, we don’t need to add anything to fill the space. Just by dropping our leaves, we recognize that the underlying essence of who we are is right here. Part of our true innate being was just suffocating amongst this programmed matrix called The Human Experience. Our innate being is indeed bursting in love, worth, abundance, joy and peace.

Give yourself permission today – permission to drop your leaves. Let go of the grip. Breathe and see what emerges… it has already been there waiting, a ripe bud under the surface, waiting for you to let go.