If you know football, you know Lou Holtz. He is a legend in the sport, and is distinguished in his life as an American football player, coach, then analyst with ESPN. He was elected to the College Football Hall of Fame in 2008.
Almost seven years ago to this day, I was privileged to hear Lou Holtz speak in Las Vegas at our company annual global sales event. Admittedly, I’m not a sports fanatic and didn’t know anything about Lou Holtz. However, this 78-year-old man immediately captivated my attention from my squinty back seat of the hotel ballroom.
Although the room was filled with sales executives and business leaders, he started sharing his personal guiding principles for life:
- Do the right thing.
- Be your best.
- Show people you care.
Mr. Holtz said that he spent a long time curating this list. “All other values really fall into one of these three categories,” he said. I’ve tried it – and he is right.
I’m glad that I scribbled this down at the time. Back at my Minnesota home office, I ripped that small piece of the paper out of my travel notebook and tacked it onto the bulletin board. I knew it was important.
With the responsibility of raising children, I knew my family needed a strong anchor to guide our teachings. How do we raise these kids with a strong moral compass, in this webbed jungle and chaos of the external world? My husband and I mulled this over, and finally – we realized that Lou Holtz did the work for us.
We etched our new Family Values into wood and it is anchored in our dining room. In the morning when the boys are running out the door to catch the bus, they hear me say: “Do your best! Show people you care! Do the right thing!” It’s me being a bit corny, but they do hear me… I know it because their dimples show as their shoes scamper out the door.
When they do make bad choices, it becomes the common language for connection and teaching. For example, this past week, our eight-year-old had joined an underground, unsanctioned school club that was geared towards bringing out the worst in their fellow classmates. It was called the “Bad Boys Club.” When we found out, that evening we used this framework for contemplation. We asked our son, “Was that you doing your best?”, and, “Was that doing the right thing?” It enabled an effective reflection that involved the least words and was a springboard for the right conversation.
Lou Holtz’s guiding principles are simple and effective. It even helps my husband and I show up better in our own days. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not claiming perfection. I still make bad choices, I often don’t do my best, and sometimes I’m not showing others that I care. However, because our family values are displayed in our dining room, it is our daily practice and daily challenge. There is no grading system and no test; it’s a practice. Just like prayer, exercise, meditation and eating your vegetables. Its practice like singing the ABCs and doing your multiplication tables.
Do you have guiding principles or family values that have guided your life? I’d love to hear about them. If you don’t and are seeking values for your own family, consider adopting Lou Holtz’s guiding principles. It has been working well for us.
Now, as you depart onto your day, I will challenge you to: “Do the right thing!” “Do your best!”, and “Show people you care!”