TOTAL READ TIME: 2 Minutes
When boarding my last flight, as I was hoisting my suitcase above me, a tall muscular man said, “May I help you with that?”
Predictably, I said “No thank you, I got it.”
I really could have used the help. While I was saying no, my 45-pound bag was balancing across my left hand, bobbling through the air with gravity attempting to win. I caught glances of fearful eyeballs from those already seated around us. After it was carefully stowed, I breathed a sigh of relief and turned my attention towards my newly-uncovered issue: “Why on Earth did I say NO?”
I couldn’t let it go. I should have said yes. This No was a program – a software code implanted years ago with years of training and practice: Don’t ask for help. Show your strength. Be independent. Asking for help is a sign of weakness. It’s all a false program, subconsciously weakening the web that creates community.
Think about the last time you helped someone. It felt great, didn’t it? That’s the thing: helping feels great for both the giver and the receiver.
We have to remember that giving is only half the equation. If you are a chronic giver but say no when it’s your turn to receive, it won’t work. You will burn out. The only way to recharge our batteries is by saying yes when help comes.
The next time someone offers me help, I am going to say yes. Then, the next time someone offers to help me, I’ll say yes again. Then yes again. This is how we can override our chronic habit of saying no when help comes.
Will you try this with me? The next time someone offers you help, please say yes. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Just know that by receiving, you are balancing out your own giving equation. And don’t forget – the person lending their helping hand truly wants to help, just like you always do.