When life gets dark, look for the light. © Kathy J. Sotak

Total Read Time: 5.5 Minutes

I had a heart-pounding dream this week.  I was back at my home church – a conservative, male-led, traditional Christian church. For some odd reason I was standing in front as the guest minister, preacher – priestess.

The pews were packed and the energy high. The congregation was ready for a service of joy and connection. What was I, an untrained laywoman, doing at the head of the church?

In the dream I was up for the challenge, except something was horribly awry. I didn’t have a Bible, sermon notes, nor liturgy. This was a nightmare for a diligent planner like me.

My heart was beating and church bells ringing; service was about to start. My mind went blank. Yet hundreds of people were looking to me. Looking to me to help them cut through this noisy life and connect with God*.  I was going to make mistakes; I needed help. There are some things in life you just can’t wing and this is one of them.

Here’s the crux of the matter: Would they laugh and cast me aside, or would they extend a lending hand? Would they get angry about their disrupted routine, or would they extend grace, knowing like them, I make mistakes too? Would judgment bubble up, with their ego saying they could do it better? Or would they somehow still find God in it all?

The service started. A sigh of relief came over me as Kindness in the front row handed me his liturgy, pointing to the page of where to start. A few minutes later, Grace rose to hand me the song sheets and her Bible. Love wove strands of compassion as we sang, transmuting our collective pain from the past week.

Now it was sermon time. The crowd hushed, waiting to hear words of wisdom. What will I speak? Will this be just Kathy’s sermon, or will I be able to let the voice of God channel through me?

I said a quick prayer and started speaking, using the power of the past twenty minutes to fuel our connection with our higher power.

“Standing in front of this room, I have no credentials, yet I carry the same powerful credentials as yours.

Today as I fumbled, the God in you had extended kindness when judgment was far easier. The God in you could have ripped the microphone from me, but instead you helped me remember that I too have a voice. The God in you could have cancelled service, but instead you realized this is the perfect place to practice. The light in you helped me find the light in me.

God is in holding the door open for the person behind us. God is in the deer eating out of my bird feeder, reminding me that they are hungry too. God is in our laughter. God is the peace through our pain. God is that flash of a moment when we look in each other’s eyes, saying, ‘I see the light in you, behind our calloused wounds and rough edges.’

The hardest thing I’ve had to accept in this world is the scientific fact that light can only be seen in the darkness. Thank you for shining your light into my heart today.”

I woke up, heart still beating loudly with the embarrassment of not being prepared to preach. Then as I rubbed my eyes and poured my coffee, I realized the powerful dream lesson of that perfect preacher moment orchestrated to help us shine our light for each other.

This dream teaches me to shine brighter. Love more. Extend grace. Forgive when I don’t want to. When it feels like darkness is enveloping us, don’t forget there is an infinity pool of light within us.

How do you choose to shine your light? I see you out there, spreading your seeds of grace, compassion and kindness. Keep going, no matter how dark or painful the world seems. I need your light and you may need mine.

*Feel free to replace the word God with whatever word(s) resonates with you. It could be spirit, truth, Jesus, love, kindness, higher power, etc.