TOTAL READ TIME: 2 Minutes

An angel ornament, made with care by my Mother. © Kathy J. Sotak

Just imagine that we had it all wrong. That we misheard. We thought we were supposed to give presents. What if the original meaning was presence?

Every December, my mind is flooded with vignettes of my childhood. For example, my mother used to love making, wrapping and giving presents. We would have evening-long wrapping sessions, taking over the dining room table. Christmas music was on the record player. My mother taught me how to make homemade ornaments, sometimes with homemade miniature boxes to house them, then wrapped with care. The final touch was the handmade bows. Every step was layered in love, to show people that she loved them. While we were working on presents, she was giving me her presence.

What does giving presence look like to me?

    1. Make eye contact: how often do I do this, with strangers or even my kids or husband?
    2. Listen vs. waiting to talk: listening in layers, and in the space in-between, in order to hear their truth.
    3. Show up, knowing it is enough: Instead of feeling guilty because I didn’t make time to bring a gift, I’ll learn to be okay with just bringing my presence.

    In this final race to Christmas, my brain is overtaxed and overflowing, to make this holiday season magical. Today I’m picking a balance of presents and presence. With regards to my holiday list – I won’t get it done. Can I can choose to be okay with it? In my head, I’m the type of woman who sends ornate and thoughtful Christmas cards. I make homemade ornaments with my kids, as gifts to family. I make my favorite holiday cookies, especially Cherry Snowballs. I make intentional memories with my children, all month long. Instead, I am feverishly editing my list as the days tick on.

    One of these years, I will get you a Christmas card like I’ve planned. For today, I’ll give you my presence, in all of its layers of love.

    I’m sure it will turn out to be the perfect present. That’s what I’m choosing to hear, anyway.