Play along with my favorite personality type test, The Merger.

Honestly, my dog Leo wouldn’t let me finish my “merging traffic” living room floor photo shoot. © Kathy J. Sotak

TOTAL READ TIME: 4 Minutes

With the Thanksgiving holiday approaching in the United States, there is a high likelihood you will be on the road with several thousand others traveling to and from their festivities.

If you’re on the east coast like I am, you’ll merge onto a highway or two. This brings me to my favorite personality test: The Merger Type Test. Let’s play.

If you are the car merging from an onramp into the stop and go traffic, which fits you best:

  1. The Competitor: See how far up you can go before squeezing in at the last second
  2. Scaredy-Cat: Merge as quickly as you possibly can, then let out a sigh of relief
  3. By the Rules: Do the zipper, follow the zipper*! The studies has proven that the most efficient way to merge is to zipper the cars!
  4. Meek and kind: Excuse me (waving), can I get over? Will you let me in? Oh, thank you thank you (with another wave!)

Now, if you are the line of stop and go traffic, with having the nuisance of an onramp of cars merging, do you:

  1. NEVER Let Them In: keep your bumper as close to the bumper ahead of you. You aren’t letting them in!
  2. Not a Care in the World: letting as many cars go in front of you as they’d like
  3. By the Rules: The zipper, again, DO THE ZIPPER!
  4. No Clue: Is this the first time you’ve ever thought about it? Wow, does Kathy over-think!

I’m going to let you and I each do our own analysis. If you are curious, I am a pure “By the Rules” zipper merger. I love the zipper, and its agony to me when people don’t do the zipper!

So, how is it that we merge with traffic (cars)? Then, how is it that we merge with the traffic (people) in our homes and villages?

Last weekend I was invited to a special church service where five people spoke in the theme of Mary Oliver’s The Summer Day poem, to answer Oliver’s question, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

It was a deeply touching service where all five speakers, ages eleven to seventy-five, shared both the joys and burdens on their heart. This affirms to me that every single one of us is carrying hard things. No matter how brave the face, we have either gone through or are going through hard and scary things.  

Perhaps this is a gentle reminder for both of us as we will likely be merging with a lot of “traffic” over the next few weeks. May we pick the merge technique that is the most kind and gentlest on all.

And, even though I am a stickler about “the zipper” – I smile when I see those other distinct personality types show up on the road.

Besides, life’s way more fun this way.

*The definition of the zipper is every car uses both lanes until one ends, then takes turn merging with the other lane (from above, looks like a teeth on a zipper joining together). Yes, studies have proven that this is the most effective way to merge safely and efficiently.