TOTAL READ TIME: 4 MINUTES

Emerging elders can be found all around us. I bet you are one, too. © Kathy J. Sotak

What do you think of when you hear the word “elder?”

I think of gray flowing down the back, deep lines on leather skin, and age spots with their own story. When our eyes lock, something in me melts away, and I feel better.

However, some elders may look different.

Back in early 2003, my mother was in the transition process of dying. My family had borrowed an adjustable hospital bed that we rolled into the living room where she stayed for the last months of her life. A true death bed.

Although I lived eight hours away, my boss was gracious to let me go home often, and my co-workers were generous enough to cover my work. I am forever grateful.

In those last few months my mother slept a lot, likely induced by high dose pain meds. We were still connected though. I sat in the chair next to her, and periodically she would share a story, grab for my hand, ask a question, or just smile and say, “I love you.”

My Mother was a Christian, so passing meant getting to finally meet Jesus. Near the end, my mom spoke clearly with a request: “I want to meet with the Elders of the Church.”

Before I continue with the story, I need to paint the picture for you. This is farm country in rural America. Our church typically sat 20-25 community members on a normal Sunday. The elders were a farmer, rancher and carpenter. Our neighbors. Our friends. The elders had general leadership responsibilities of the church, but when someone is dying, it’s usually the pastor that is sought out. I’m sure it was a rare call to seek these elders for their wisdom.  

But clear as a bell, my mother did.

They arrived the next evening. My family cleared the room, but I wasn’t going to miss it. Mom gave me permission to stay with a gentle nod, and I tucked myself out of view on the staircase. Then, I watched and listened as my mother and the elders had a meeting.

I don’t remember the words but I remember the feeling. I remember the image of the farmer, the rancher and the carpenter nervously sitting around my mother’s bed, then having something in them melt away. My mother became the leader, first bringing ease to the farmer, the rancher and the carpenter. She thanked them for coming. She shared how she was feeling so they didn’t have to figure out how to ask. Then, my mother helped them transform into their role of the elder: She asked them for wisdom. She asked them for guidance. She asked them to pray with her.

The farmer, the rancher and the carpenter emerged as elders that evening. Their role was called forth from within them. It was already there. They were just waiting for the phone call. My mother was also an elder that evening, as she created the transformational experience (along with the Holy Spirit’s help, of course).

Perhaps we all emerging elders*. What will it take for you and I to realize it? Does it take a death bed visit, or can we call forth our deep wisdom already there and start to serve?

Look around. If we gaze with our own elder eyes, we will find where we need to look to help something melt away.

Don’t wait for that phone call.

*The credit for the phrase Emerging Elder goes to Dr. Zach Bush – a luminary, healer, teacher and visionary throughout time and space.