Plant Diaries: We are Mothers of Thousands

Maybe you can still hug your mother – maybe you can’t.

Maybe you lost a child – maybe you haven’t.

Maybe mom brings you joy – but maybe you’ve been hurt.

Maybe you tried to have children – but couldn’t.

Maybe you chose not to bear children – and then decided to be a Mother in other ways.

If you ask me, “What are you doing for Mother’s Day?” I’ll give you a boiler-plate response. It’s not that I don’t love being a Mom. I’m blessed with two boys that make my heart bloom every day. And as a bonus – not only do I love them, I like them too. They are very cool human spirits, and I am grateful that they chose me as their Mother.

I see Mother’s Day through a different lens, perhaps after losing both a mother and a son. But it’s not my own pain I feel. I think about my co-worker M, who whispered her pain to me, “I tried to have children, but never could.” I think about my friend S, who died from the poison of loneliness and other substances, and her two teenage daughters, now walking this earth without the solid embrace of their Mother. I think of R whose son took his life. I think of my former hairdresser C, who took her own life and left her two grown sons, now figuring out parenthood by themselves. I think of E who didn’t talk to her Mom for two decades. I think of my friends S, J, M, A and D who chose not to have kids, yet our culture may not fully understand that choice.

So given this perspective, how can we look at this 107-year-old holiday differently? What if we turned Mother’s Day into a celebration of honoring all of the Mothers around us, and the Mother within us? It doesn’t matter if you have a child or a mom. I bet you are a Mother in many ways. I bet you have many Mothers in your life. It’s time to recognize the Mothering Energy that we all have. It has nothing to do with kids, moms or dads. It has everything to do with creating something and nurturing those around us.

This is my Mother of Thousands plant, its name quite literal. It produces babies that grow off of the leaves, their roots dancing in the air, then falls off into their own identity. This plant exists to remind us that we are “birthing” every single day. What are you creating and nurturing in this day?

The thousands of somethings we create and nurture each day are felt in this world. It could be a smile, a prayer, eye contact, a warm meal, loving an animal, doing your best, a new idea, artwork, laughter, playtime, poetry or dreaming. And a thousand more.

You and I are both Mothers of Thousands. May you honor the Mother within you, and may we all honor our surrounding Mothers that nurture us. And if you are lucky enough to hug your own Mother today, give her a warm embrace as you honor her for all that she is.

Happy Mother’s Day!