I’ve been in the center of a carousel, seeing the same set of characters spinning around me. They appear in different shapes and colors, all saying the same thing: Use your voice, Kathy.

“I do use my voice,” I told myself. In my corporate career, leading and speaking comes naturally. At a party, I tend to show up as my full Leo persona, matched with a gregarious voice.

However, when it comes to sharing what is weighing on my heart, I’m a bit more tight-lipped. I’m not one to proactively share my beliefs or opinions on matters. I’m not one to say to my husband and friends, “This is what I need.” I should put others first, right? I shouldn’t ask for help, right? I don’t need to speak what I need, as they should intuitively understand. Right?

I wonder how long I’ve been spinning on this carousel.

An odd memory came circling back to me from my childhood. When I was growing up, someone had gifted my mother a small carousel music box. You can likely picture one in your mind: turn it upside down to wind the lever, then be rewarded with a beautiful circular musical show. Perhaps it features horses going around a traditional carousel, or perhaps it’s a ballerina dancer. Perhaps it is some other design, delighting homeowners’ eyes and hearts.

That’s just what happened when my mother opened this very first music box at Christmas time. She was overcome with joy! So much joy, in fact, that her five children and husband all remembered it. It made such an imprint on us, that we all started gifting her music boxes every year. She started displaying her music box collection on the glass shelves near our front porch. Prominently visible in a high-traffic area, when friends and neighbors would stop over they would ask about her music box collection. Then, lo and behold! More gifts of music boxes arrived.

My mother and me at Christmas long ago. My mother, wearing her expectant gaze, of soon unwrapping yet another carousel music box. Me, wearing my glee, of how I will soon see my mother happy yet again this year with a musical gift for her collection. © Kathy J. Sotak

My Mom bit her lip for years, every time, saying “Thank you!” wholeheartedly for every gift of a music box.

Until that one day. It was the last gift of the night. It was yet another carousel music box. It was on yet another Christmas, years into this carousel ride. She opened her gift, looked at her loving family surrounding her, threw down the box and said, “Thank you, dear family. However, this needs to STOP. How did you all get into your heads that I was starting a music box collection? I don’t even like them! I need you to STOP gifting me music boxes, from this day forward!”

We were stunned. We were shocked! We had no idea. Then we all shrugged our shoulders, as we could have sworn that she was the one who started it, not us.

After that day, I noticed she walked a bit taller, as if a long-held weight was lifted. She hummed happily as she boxed up the majority of the carousels, keeping only two on display. Perhaps the two that remained brought her joy. Or, more likely, perhaps it reminded her of her own joy of the Day She Found Her Voice.

It’s a silly example, yet powerful. How do you choose to use your voice? It may show up in a few different ways:

  • This is what I need
  • This is how I feel
  • Here is a creative idea
  • This is important to me
  • Yes, with all my heart
  • No, as I stand in my sovereignty
  • This is something I’m fighting for
  • I’ll speak up for others who are still scared to speak

Have you heard the phrase, “Carrying the ring of truth?” When we choose to speak our voices, it carries a vibrational signal that rings out like ripples on water. When coming from an intentional place of love, compassion and acceptance, it makes others feel comfortable to use their voices too. Try it.

Our rings will be different, and that’s what makes it sound so beautiful. Let the music play joyously as we step off of this carousel.